The Orange Human: The Best Reality Show on Planet Zog During Trump’s Presidency

Cartoonish painting of four aliens in a glowing cave bar sipping green frothy drinks

On planet Zog, located in a faraway galaxy, lived four aliens named Xerxes, Krrzzt, Qwerty, and Plorp, who had a peculiar fascination with Earth and its politics. These aliens had a favorite pastime, which was to gather every week in their favorite spot, a glowing artificial cave named “The Black Hole,” and watch a reality show called “The Orange Human.” The show featured the turbulent presidency of Donald Trump on a planet called Earth, and the aliens couldn’t get enough of it. As they sipped their frothy green drinks, they marveled at the strange and unpredictable world of the Orange Human, and each week’s episode never failed to amaze them.

Planet Zog was an unusual place, with a climate that was entirely different from Earth, and its inhabitants were always fascinated by the diverse creatures and politics of Earth. They had been monitoring Earth for centuries through Tic Tac spaceships and were intrigued by its complex and often bizarre society. The aliens had observed that humans had the power to do both great and terrible things, and their leaders often brought out the worst in them. Nonetheless, the aliens were captivated by the peculiarities of the human race and found the reality show “The Orange Human” to be a perfect reflection of the unpredictability of human behavior.

On this particular day, the aliens had gathered to watch the season finale of the show, which covered the chaotic events of January 6th, when a mob of Trump supporters stormed the U.S. Capitol building. As they settled in to watch the episode, they began to reminisce about other bizarre events that had occurred during Trump’s presidency.

Xerxes, who spoke in a fast-paced, excited tone, was the first to comment, “Remember when the Orange Human refused to take COVID-19 seriously, despite the massive death toll?” he said, his eyes wide with amazement. “That was insane! He downplayed the virus, refused to wear a mask, and ignored the advice of experts. It was like he wanted people to get sick! And then when the cases started to surge, he blamed the governors and tried to reopen the country too quickly. It was a total mess!” Xerxes continued, his voice growing faster and more animated. “And you know what else? His mishandling of the pandemic contributed to the events of January 6th. If he had taken the virus seriously and implemented strong measures to control it, maybe people wouldn’t have been so frustrated and angry. But instead, he fueled the anger and division by downplaying the virus and spreading conspiracy theories. It was a perfect storm of misinformation and fear, and it definitely contributed to that violent attack on the Capitol.”

“And what about when the Orange Human was impeached by the House of Representatives? It was crazy, even for Earth standards,” Krrzzt, who was always on the lookout for the next crazy thing, said with his pincers clicking. “I remember thinking that it was a sign that things were going to get even more interesting. I mean, who knows what kind of chaos would come next?” Krrzzt continued. “And it sure did. The impeachment didn’t do anything to deter the Orange Human’s erratic behavior. If anything, it emboldened him. He doubled down on his divisive rhetoric and continued to undermine the institutions that were supposed to keep him in check. So, it’s not surprising that things spiraled out of control and led to the events of January 6th. It’s like the Orange Human and his followers felt like they were above the law and could get away with anything,” Krrzzt shook his head, still amazed by the madness of Earth’s politics.

Qwerty, the cerebral alien with a penchant for dry wit and wordplay, spoke up. “Let’s not forget the Orange Human’s border policy that was colder than the coldest winter on Pluto,” he quipped. “I mean, separating families and treating immigrants as less than human? That’s just inhumane, or should I say in-alien?” Qwerty smirked, pleased with his pun. “This policy wasn’t just a case of bad manners. Oh no, it was a ticking time bomb waiting to explode, just like the alien pustule on Krrzzt’s left antenna. It’s clear that when leaders lack empathy and basic decency, it creates a toxic culture that can breed violence and division faster than a supernova. It’s almost as if they took the phrase ‘divide and conquer’ a little too seriously,” Qwerty remarked with a shake of his head, wondering how humans could continue to allow such cruelty and inhumanity to exist in their world.

Plorp, the shapeshifting alien who was always fascinated by the outlandish behavior of humans, couldn’t resist interjecting, “The Orange Human has even failed to condemn white supremacists after the violence in Charlottesville. I mean, it’s as if he was saying, ‘I’m fine with Nazis, as long as they vote for me!’ It’s mind-boggling!” Plorp shook his head in disbelief. “But it’s not just about the Orange Human’s lack of moral clarity. It’s about the message that it sent to his supporters. When a leader fails to condemn hate and bigotry, it emboldens those who promote it. It creates a culture of acceptance for racism and xenophobia that can lead to violent events like the one we see on this January 6th episode. It’s like pouring gasoline on a fire and then acting surprised when it explodes.” Plorp let out a wry chuckle, amazed by the absurdity of it all.

The aliens continued to discuss the absurdities of Trump’s presidency as they watched the events of January 6th unfold on the show. The aliens watched in horror as the mob clashed with police officers and broke into the Capitol, chanting slogans and waving flags in support of their leader. They were particularly disturbed by the violent attacks on law enforcement officials, who were trying to protect the building and maintain order. The aliens were struck by the sheer audacity of the mob’s actions and the brazen disregard for the rule of law. They could not understand how a leader could incite such violence and how his followers could blindly follow him, even in the face of such blatant illegality.

The aliens were stunned by Trump’s baseless claims of voter fraud and his attempts to overturn the results of the 2020 presidential election. They could not understand how a leader could refuse to accept the will of the people and try to subvert democracy. They shook their heads in disbelief at how Trump’s legal challenges were repeatedly dismissed by courts, with no evidence of widespread fraud found.

Xerxes spoke up, “It’s amazing that the Orange Human could convince so many people to believe in his lies about the election being stolen from him. He even tried to pressure state officials to ‘find’ votes for him, and now some of his supporters stormed the Capitol to try to stop the certification of the election results. It’s a dangerous precedent for democracy.”

Krrzzt clicked his pincers in agreement, “It’s a shame that some humans are so easily manipulated by lies and conspiracy theories. the Orange Human’s false claims of voter fraud and his attempts to overturn the election results were a threat to the very foundation of democracy.”

As the show came to an end, the aliens left the cave, still discussing the craziness of human behavior. “I’m just glad we’re not from Earth,” Xerxes said, his eyes still wide with excitement. “I don’t think I could handle living among such insane creatures.”

Krrzzt nodded in agreement. “Me neither. I mean, who knows what kind of crazy things they’ll come up with next?”

Qwerty added, “It’s hard to believe that the people of Earth elected someone like the Orange Human to lead their country in the first place. It seems like they didn’t learn from their past mistakes and continued to repeat them.”

Plorp, still captivated by human behavior, said, “It’s clear that humans are capable of both great and terrible things. It’s unfortunate that their leaders sometimes bring out the worst in them.”

As they left the glowing cave, the aliens couldn’t help but wonder what the future held for Earth and its inhabitants. They hoped that someday, the people of Earth would learn to value rationality and compassion over fear and division.

But for now, they were content to watch from afar and marvel at the strange and unpredictable world of the Orange Human. They knew that as long as they had their frothy green drinks and each other’s company, they would always find ways to make their time together great again.

This short story was generated by ChatGPT and the images by DALL-E 2. Edited by Omri Shabath.